and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
