This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
