Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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