Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize