Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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