ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
