walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
