We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
