You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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