Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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