The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
