yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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