is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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