What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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