SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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