i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
