Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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