Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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