it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Drunk is a universal language darling
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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