I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
