3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
