Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize