C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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