As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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