I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
