Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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