It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
