just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
