i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
