My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she looked like the before picture.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
