I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
