Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize