physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
did i just pee glitter
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
