Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
