Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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