Where is the hickey?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
