Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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