I can tuck mytits in my pants
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
