just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
