K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
