I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
