i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
