even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
