ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
