i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize