Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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