oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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