i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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