We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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