What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
