Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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