I don't think brook has ever known best
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
