Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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