Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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