You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I need moral support for this bender
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
