I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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