Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
