You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
