Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
