If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
