How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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