the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
