I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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