and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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