I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We are two peas in an std pod
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
