I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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