i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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